...we are really the kings and queens of promise

"We were the Kings and Queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser god
Between Heaven and Hell"
(30 Second to Mars, 2010).

Thoughts and ideas flow this morning as I write this "blog" / update of me.

We're really the Kings and Queens of promise. We promise ourselves something great but we're the reason why we suffer. We make ourselves the victim of our own promise.

Well, I've been not in my track lately. In the past month, I've been hell. Let's say I've been hell since the start of March.

Well, there are reasons behind being not the "Chav" you all really know.

I just want to thank all those who were there in those happy days. It all started in my FOURTH YEAR days. The days where everything was golden. The golden age of Chav, where he was transformed into a new being. A being he never dreamed of.

All those who were part of it. From that day up to now. All those who are tagged, you are part of those days.

I wish I was back from my ORIGINAL system. Where I wake up every morning and I know there's this smile waiting for me. There's this mission I want to do, not for myself but for the others. There's this reason to study for I want a big future not only for me but for that someone who I promised to.

It's really hard to have given up all for something you really want. There's no orange sunshine waiting for you to open you eyes on these days. It's been a failure term now. I'm not at my ORIGINAL self.

Now, I really don't have that guts to continue what I've started. There's this missing piece in my life that keeps me unauthentic. I can't find the reason to excel, the reason to strive for more. To continue being that JACK OF ALL TRADES.

Well, I really think now that I'm the master of failures. The master of RESTARTS. I try to REBOOT to my original self now. I wish I can.

Well, thank you for being part of those happy days. I wish I can get through this. I wish I will be back to my golden age plus the spice the summer added.

Thanks. For me, myself, I and she.

*don't name anyone. thanks.